Dad, please let me be “me”!
A imagined story about a super-dad an his wonderful son …
A wonderful dad, striving to give his best to show the world to his son. To help him on his way through life with straightness and confidence. Dad helps, guides, and even sits down with him when schoolwork is a struggle.
An exceptional son. When he was a little boy, his dad was one and everything to him. Dad was his hero until he was 12. Now he suddenly feels different. He begins to see the world with different eyes. With his own eyes. There are quite some things to discover from that point. In HIS way. “Actually,” he says to himself, “I’m beginning to think I don’t need Dad any more. I can do this on my own.”
— Dad, let me do this. I can do it!
— All right, but …, says Dad.
Dad might be right. Maybe he didn’t do well. But that isn’t acceptable now. “I’ll have to find the answers, I have to do it myself. I want to find my own way.”
Dad feels offended. What’s the point of this now? Why doesn’t he listen to me? I just want to help him! What a stubborn kid! Dad uses his persistent trainer tone again.
— Hey, come on, you’ve got to get through this, look, you can do it, I’ll show you … No! Not like that! … Look a this! What’s wrong with you?
The white sheet of paper which lies in front of him is getting blurred. Even the table and the furniture in the living room are barely recognizable any more. He would love to disappear right now and wake up in a new world where he could calmly solve his problem tasks. “I just need time to think! And silence! Or maybe I’m just a dummy and can’t do it. I don’t feel like struggling any more. The best thing would be to lie down on the bed and look onto the ceiling, or eat some chocolate flakes. It doesn’t really matter whether I can do it or not. I don’t feel like it anymore.”
The strength to keep going is slowly breaking down. He’s overwhelmed by his father’s pressure as well as by his own concern to do it on his own. To do it well. Not as Daddy says, though. He has to discover it on his own, including permission to fail. There must be a different way to solve this. Just doing what Papa says, that can’t be it. “I wish Dad would understand! “ Under such a big pressure his will is getting lost. Why struggle? “I don’t want do end up arguing with father.”
Without really noticing it, the son’s feelings inside are getting more and more cloudy. Somehow there is no joy anymore, he’s got no idea what’s happening to him.
Dad is not recognizing his growing son. The formerly happy and cheerful child, now seems to be in a bad mood most of the day, doesn’t talk, locks himself in his room, dawdling. Worry overcomes him. What can I do for my kid?
— Actually, it’s just this: I just want to be “me”, with my style, just want to go my own way. Dad, this is not a tantrum. I’m not a little kid anymore. I simply have my own ideas now.
Will Dad be able to listen to his child without imposing HIS own world view on his child? Not an easy thing to do, as he may have to admit he doesn’t always know everything, and that perhaps, perhaps!, he’s not always right. He might even be wrong sometimes.
The greatest and most beautiful thing about this is the following: he gets the chance to learn from his child. Such a sudden new attitude towards his adolescent son would turn the son into his father’s teacher. And the father, into his son’s disciple.
Yet, he will always be the father. The one who helps, guides and sustains. And also the one who listens thoroughly in order to get to know his kid’s world of feelings and thoughts, whether it was crazy, ingenious or impossible. Who knows, maybe even the impossible is possible.
